Mediation for international couples and families
I support you in finding helpful ways of arguing
You and your partner are a good team. At least you were, until the beautiful moments became rarer and the accusations louder. The mood is tense. There has been so much anger and disappointment that you are not sure if you can find your way out alone.
It is possible that your issues include:
- one of you needs more closeness and attention, while the other needs space
- the way you divide household and/or childcare responsibilities is causing dissatisfaction
- financial issues are weighing on you
- you cannot agree on leisure activities
- you both want different things when it comes to important life decisions
- you have different priorities when it comes to raising your child/children
- arrangements and meetings with in-laws or stepfamilies are difficult
What you actually want is something else: arguing with more ease and with really good solutions, being able to laugh together about everyday madness, pulling together when making decisions. And above all, gaining back the certainty that you are there for each other,
even when things get heated.
On the way to constructive arguing, binational couples often face some additional challenges.
- Read more
Maybe you`re asking yourselves:
Often, the “couple language” is not the mother tongue of one or both partners. Especially
during an argument, this can feel unfair because one person may be better able to express
themselves. Misunderstandings can also occur quickly.
If communication doesn’t work, an endless search begins. Is language the problem? Are we
talking past each other because we package our desires very differently? Are we just
individually different or does culture play a role? The possibilities seem endless.
Couples where one or both partners come from outside of Europe have to deal with special
bureaucratic hurdles. It is often difficult to obtain a residence permit. The process of
recognizing foreign degrees or attempting to obtain citizenship can also create stress. It is
clear that this can also affect the relationship between partners.
This question can cause a lot of controversy. Bureaucratic hurdles can also play a role here
(e.g. visa issues, lack of work permits) or the desire to be closer to one’s own family.
When you come to me as a couple, you describe your concerns to me and together we explore what each of you needs specifically to feel better. Because accusations usually stem from hurt needs. Mediation often reveals that there is an underlying issue behind the argument topic.
So, the demand to move back to the home country may hide the desire for more exchange and less isolation. The desire for more intimacy and recognition may be behind a heated argument about household tasks. I listen carefully, ask questions, and help you gain clarity. This way, it gradually becomes easier for you to understand each other’s perspectives and find good
solutions.
After mediation, you can often:
- argue constructively
- creatively handle your individual and culturally different behaviors
- laugh together about everyday madness
- pull together when it comes to your children
- be sure that both of you want to invest in the relationship
- develop a sense of teamwork as a couple
Do you want to learn more about me? Then have a look here.
My services
my services
mediation for binational couples
mediation for international teams
community mediation in a migration society
workshops
testimonials
testimonials
The mediation with Carla was enriching and helped us to sort things out. Carla works in a professional, soft-hearted and solution-oriented way. The mediation was inspiring and very productive. Afterwards emotional topics could be discussed easily. Highly recommend it!
Anna & Lenni
Working with Carla was very constructive. She brought in valuable ideas and a better structure to our seminar. As a facilitator, she created a warm and trusting atmosphere which had a lasting and positive effect on the team. We're very happy to have worked with her!
Friederike Hildebrandt
BUND für Umwelt und Naturschutz e.V.Carla has been supporting me as a process consultant for a year now. She is very clear, solution-oriented, warm and empathetic, always combining incisive questioning and conversation techniques with an open and constructive attitude. She effortlessly manages to find blind spots and asks exactly the right questions to help me find my way forward.
Coachee Verena
Within a very short time frame Carla and her collegue Ruth Nießen created a wonderful teambuilding for us. With her calm presence she made it easy for the participants to open up and to listen to each other. Creative methods were combined with constructive questions which brought exactly the right balance of fun and connection. Especially after two years of pandemic that was very important for the team. Thank you so much for your work, Carla! We will highly recommend you!
Robert Bowen
NGO in BerlinContact
I`m looking forward to your message or phone call. The preliminary talk is nonbinding and free of charge.
- carla.vollert@posteo.de
- +49 (0) 176-41425128